


You Didn't Know: L's Desire to Be Normal

by danceRain7



Series: You Didn't Know [2]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cake, Detective, L is straight/heterosexual, L reads Erotica, L reads fanfiction about himself, Late Night Writing, Philosophy, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceRain7/pseuds/danceRain7
Summary: Part of a series of cute snapshots of various Death Note characters depicting something unexpected about them.Here, we get into L's head as he ponders why he is an outcast.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: You Didn't Know [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583608
Kudos: 9





	You Didn't Know: L's Desire to Be Normal

L looked around the room and realized that it was 3am, and no one was around. It explained why he was able to get so much work done in the last three hours that flew by. The break in his flow of work let L’s mind run its usual, bustling train of thought with a sprinkle of reflection. Though his isolation was more apparent at night, it felt like L was removed from the rest almost always. He was a perpetual observer. 

L was never keen on fitting in, though. He dared to cross socially acceptable lines to solidify his detective hunches, and he wouldn’t bother if others minded his cognitively optimal crouching. 

Still, once in a while, L wanted to be normal. 

Mm, cake. The strawberries were a little sweeter, today. Though usually that was a good thing, it could mean that the cake was of cheaper, more highly preservative quality. L neutralized the sweetness with coffee which ended up being too bitter for his liking, at which point he added sugar that toppled over the still solid sugar in his over-saturated--

What was he thinking about? Oh right, fitting in. Being normal. L always felt like the sugar cube that toppled out of his coffee-- unable to seamlessly dissolve due to the oversaturation of sweet ignorance. 

Interesting metaphor. L thought he could probably write good poetry if he tried. 

That was another thing-- everyone took L’s focus and tendency to not try other things to be a signal of his social incapability. Yes, he wasn’t the most spontaneous of the bunch, but he still had a sense of humor; he couldn’t help if it was too sophisticated for the rest of them. People only call humor “dry” or call books “boring” when they don’t understand them. 

And what about sex, huh? L was clearly not asexual, at least, in his mind... L realized he smirked in the dark. But no one even mentioned sex around him. Aside from Misa, anyway, who took for granted that he couldn’t fall for her when she pecked him on the cheek. She probably thought he was gay, which would be better than being erroneously pinned as asexual, in L’s opinion, as the latter stripped L of a whole dimension of his personality, of his humanness. 

Was humanness a word? 

Human. Kira was a human trying to be a God. Isn’t detective work a little similarly pretentious, though? 

L needed a marshmallow to replace his self-doubt with fluffy happiness. He ended up stuffing said marshmallow and its twin into his mouth. 

Was escaping the question going to do him any good? Ignorance was bliss, but it would be such a shame if the world’s best detective were ignorant. 

Panda cookies would gladly sacrifice their lives for L to munch in deep thought to ultimately feel better about all of this. And they did. 

In a way, L was chosen for this duty. He was an eagle, watching over humanity from afar. Yet, eagles are honored with pride, not deemed social outcasts. 

It was easy to drown in his own thoughts, L realized. 

Wise ones say that, when you have a problem, you should take a pillow and sleep. Since the wise ones seemed to screw the insomniac over, L decided to instead lean into his other aforementioned human need. 

He whipped out a secret erotic novel and started reading. The gush was vomit-worthy, and yet, it made L wonder if he would ever find that one person who would burn the flame of passion within him, and would simultaneously-- what was it-- warm his heart? Or something. 

L had a grand old time in his mind, though. He almost questioned why the line between fantasy and reality had to exist, if he had the power to give fantasy as much value as he pleased. 

Fantasy and value… surely, he was not the first to think of this. L typed into his web search with fervor and found that people often write fiction about existing fantastic universes and people. He knew Kira had fans, but there were fans of his work on Kira as well! And they wrote about him! Him and… oh my. 

L could feel his face burn red in the reflection of the screen in the cold, otherwise dark room. People wrote _elaborately_ about L’s sex life. He couldn’t lie to himself: that was a huge ego boost. 

Perhaps this whole thing was delayed teen angst. Still, L decided he would join a romance novel book club. Maybe some sharp girl would find his helpless stare charming.


End file.
